Staring at the screen.

I've been sitting at my computer desk aimlessly searching the internet, as I do everyday. I go through all of my usual sites, and then end up repeating the cycle as if something new would have popped up miraculously within ten minutes. Just wasting my time away. I just never know what to do with my time...

"I'll properly start blogging." "I'll watch all of those TV series that everyone wants me to watch!" "I'll start reading again." "I'll eBay all of my old shit!"

The consensus is to do something productive, but I just never do it. I'll do it tomorrow. I just lack the motivation.




Maybe it's this quarter life crisis I feel like i'm having. My dad suffered a stroke nearly four months ago and is finally coming home next week. Due to that i've taken over all of the household bills...just everything. Life is now just stress. I feel like whilst everyone else is storming ahead in life, i'm just being left in the dust and I don't know when it will settle.

Either way, I can't keep staring into the screen. I need to do something.

What a difference, a day makes...

Monday 4th April 2016.

Just any other day for most people.

My dad had a stroke, and he's been in hospital ever since.

Bleurgh at life.

Acne & Me - Starting Over

So after 7 days of hell involving my face being inflamed, burnt and peeling, I am back to normal! Rejoice! Using the moisturiser and cleansing lotion by Cetaphil really helped in getting my skin back to it's normal state. That is not an advertisement for Cetaphil in anyway whatsoever - I stumbled across it's existence on an acne site and thought i'd give it a go. After a week of patience and zero make up, my face was back to it's original, soft self. But now with even more spots due to my face being so, so dry and inflamed.

However, I have noticed that whilst using Cetaphil as my only cleanser/moisturiser that my skin is looking so much more clearer and brighter. I don't know if this is because it is soap free/non comodgenic and isn't reacting with my skin like other cleansers i've used in the past have possibly done. 

This duo has really helped my skin, burnt or not.

  There are a few negatives i've encountered whilst using the Cetaphil products. One being the moisturiser is simply too heavy/greasy for daytime use. When I was using it throughout the day whilst my skin was healing it did not absorb into my skin at all. It was like I had a separate layer of grease on my face, my skin was that shiny and greasy feeling. I had to perservere with it though simply because it's sole purpose was to hydrate my very dry, peeling skin and it was gentle/non reactive. Now my skin is back to normal I would not use it for daytime use at all, I have purchased a separate day moisturiser. I do use the Cetaphil moisturiser at night to counteract any dryness I may get from using Differin. I wake up and my skin is baby soft! The second negative is with the cleanser. When I wasn't wearing any make up it was perfect as there wasn't anything to properly remove apart from the collection of any dirt throughout the day. However when I started using make up again, it simply does not remove make up easily. I have to wash my face with it about 3-4 separate times and each time use a soft flannel or cotton pads to help take off my make up, then afterwards to make sure any leftover residue has gone I use my Lush Tea Tree Toner Water. It's a bit long winded but I have noticed a difference using the cleanser so I won't just stop using it due to the fact it's that gentle it won't take my mountain of make up off straight away.

I have reintroduced the usage of my acne creams. For the past two nights I have been using Differin and this morning I reintroduced Duac. However I will not use Duac again for another 2-3 days as this is the cream that I react to very easily. I seem to react fine to Differin but not so much Duac. Gradual usage though hopefully will be the answer. I have established a morning and night skincare routine now which should help my skin become more adjusted to the creams. 

My daytime moisturiser lifesaver.

My morning routine includes washing my face with the Cetaphil Gentle Cleanser first, then allowing 20-30 minutes for my face to completely dry so that when I apply Duac it will be as effective as it can be. Then Duac is applied very thinly to my face, there is no need to apply loads as this can cause a lot of irritation due to the benozyl peroxide. Once applied, I wait at least half an hour for the cream to absorb and work it's magic, then I apply Boots Simply Sensitive Protecting Day Moisturiser SPF 15 as my moisturiser, then apply make up if needed, etc. It's really important to leave enough time between cleansing/application/moisturising to make sure the products do not interfere with the cream. It is harder to stick to the morning routine if I am on an early shift at work, because I am normally so tired that I don't wake up early enough to give myself enough time to do the above. I am going to try and apply Duac on days off or late shifts instead.

At night it is pretty much the same. I remove all traces of make up and dirt using the Cetaphil cleanser along with a soft cloth or cotton pads. Then wait another 20-30 minutes for my face to dry and then apply a thin layer of Differin, wait for at least half an hour and then slather on Cetaphil moisturiser. 

Not long now until i'm back on the pill either, so here's hoping for good results!

Acne & Me - Six Months On

Hello, it's me. Around six months ago I had just bought La Roche Posay's Effaclar Duo and I was raring to try it and tell you all about the amazing results it was going to give me. I was also awaiting my dermatologist referral. Then life (ie work) got in the way and I stopped writing.

Well, six months later, Effaclar Duo literally done nothing for my skin. Absolutely nothing. Straight in the bin and £15 wasted. Maybe my skin must be some mutant? However the interesting thing is that the actual number of spots I was getting has actually decreased in the past few months. Was it down to my hormones calming down, I do not know. But my face is still horrifically blemished, scarred and I do still get quite a few spots. So the problem of adult acne is still here.

I received my appointment date for the dermatologist for September, but the good ol' NHS pushed it back to December. I had my appointment on the 1st and I have been told to go back onto the contraceptive pill Dianette (time to control those pesky hormones!) and was prescribed two creams, Duac and Differin. The "3 D's" my dermatologist described them as. Not the kind of D I like but whatever it takes. ;) Differin is to be applied at night and Duac to be applied in the morning. I'll explain more about the science behind these later. I was told to use these by building up the number of applications a week gradually to try and avoid any bad side effects such as dryness, burning and flaking. 

I don't know what it is with me and acne creams but I have got all of the side effects. My face is so bad that one of my workmates asked if I had had a chemical peel done. Says alot doesn't it? However, stupid me thought that because the first two days of application I didn't have any side effects that I would be okay to do it everyday. Nope. Day 3 my face was so red and cracked it was like I had dunked my face into a whole tub of Oxy 10%. Guess who has to work with the public for 7 days straight?! Mmhmm, self esteem overload right there.

So here I am, with my face worse than before I had applied any creams, desperately hoping my skin will heal by the end of the week. I done some researching and went out to buy the Cetaphil lotion and cleanser and have been using that morning and night to help the process. These will also help when I do start to reapply Duac/Differin. Wish I had researched sooner but you live and learn. 

I have a six month open appointment with my derm, so if within the next few months I see no improvement, I can just go straight back. Will definitely be taking advantage of this! However my plan of action for the next week or so is...
- Wear zero make up (this is really really hard)

- Use my Cetaphil products and monitor my skin/spots whilst using these products
- Wait for my face to fully heal 

- Reapply my creams, use Cetaphil moisturiser 30 mins after to try and counteract the dryness/redness/flaking and then take 2 days off, then use creams again
- Then start to increase my cream usage per week gradually.

On the 22nd I should hopefully be back to using Dianette which I personally feel will be the one to help my acne the most. I've always thought my acne has been down to hormones and I think Dianette will help me the most.

Time to go to work and face the world with my face for the third day in a row!
xoxo

New Product Time! La Roche Posay Effaclar Duo (+)

Time to see what all the fuss is about...Effaclar Duo (+) £15.50 from Boots

So in my last post I was listing off some of the skincare products I use for my battle against the dreaded adult acne. I was quite disappointed that the one wonder cream that actually worked (Oxy 10) instead decided to burn half of my face. So I was on a quest to find another alternative which would not have the same effect...

My best friend a few weeks ago mentioned about this cream called Effaclar Duo (+) being really good but at the time I was already waiting on Oxy to arrive, so I didn't really think about it. A colleague at work also mentioned about La Roche Posay being an excellent brand for acne but that it was also quite expensive but again I was waiting on Oxy because obviously I thought that was going to be the saviour for my skin. Apparently not *sadface*.

Anyway, I was browsing around online and stumbled onto a website which stocked La Roche Posay and Effaclar Duo (+) popped up, so I thought I'd take a look at it. As soon as I read the description and reviews on it, I thought I would give it a go. I suffer from the whole lot, blocked pores, imperfections, blemishes, acne, etc so it sounds like this product may be able to help some if not all of these problems. For £15.50 a tube (40ml) I thought it would be a small price to pay if it does actually work.

It is a product which requires you to be patient for the results. On the box it states:
After 24 hours: Imperfections look visibly less red.
After 8 days: Localised imperfections appear significantly reduced.
After 4 weeks: Pores look unclogged, skin texture looks refined, controls appearance of shine.

This product has also been tested on acne prone skin, and from reading reviews alot of people who have suffered from acne who have used Effaclar Duo (+) have seen vast improvements, with some their acne clearing completely! The UK version of this product contains a bit of salicylic acid compared to the US version, which uses my favourite, benzoyl peroxide! I'm not banking on this completely clearing me up, but if it can help in some way or the other, i'll be happy.

Today is day 3 of using the product, so I will be writing up on the results as time goes on! Here's hoping it doesn't let me down!
xoxo

Live, Laugh, Acne

Left: My painful, acne ridden face.This is a GOOD day. Right: Thank God for amazing make up.

  I have suffered from acne for about 12 years now, I started getting spots at around the age of 11, fast forward 12 years, I am now 23 and still I am plagued with an acne ridden, scarred and blemished face. Back when I was a teenager, I put up with it because I thought maybe it was just simply a teenage thing, hormones all over the place and that it would just eventually settle. I used the usual treatments, the face washes, the creams, but they didn't really do much. It wasn't until I got to the age of around 15 that I noticed I wasn't getting 'normal' spots like my friends were, mine wasn't one or two, mine were more like massive clusters all over my face which were just relentless. As soon as some would go, more would pop up overnight. I went to the doctor and he put me on the contraceptive pill Dianette, which is a version of the pill more suited to those who suffer from acne aswell. It has got a lot of bad press recently over it's usage related to blood clots and death. However, I went on it to control my periods and see if it had any effect on my skin, which it did.

It was a short term solution, as when I came off of it, they came back. Fast forward through more years until late last year, when I was 22 and just simply fed up of it. No matter how much water I consumed, how much I followed a good diet and kept to a skincare regime, nothing worked. So this time round with my doctor, I made it clear how much it was having an effect on me. It wasn't like I was a spotty teenager anymore, I was now a fully fledged adult and having 10+ years of acne was finally starting to take it's toll. I was prescribed the antibiotic Doxycycline and the topical solution Zineryt to use together. Within 2 weeks my skin was flawless, I had a few minor scars but they were easily covered. I was so pleased that I finally had amazing skin! I was on the medication for three months but as predicted, as soon as I came off of it, they were back with a vengeance. I was then put onto another six month course which helped a bit more, but three months in I was fully immune to the antibiotics and this time around, I started getting very painful cystic acne all over my face, mainly on my chin. These horrible, sore, massive, hard red lumps just forming in massive clusters everywhere which took a good 2-3 weeks to heal. Still dealing with the scars now, whilst also battling the ones that are popping up.

My doctor finally gave in and referred me to a dermatologist, still waiting for the appointment to come through, but in the mean time I have been trying to find ways to control the acne whilst waiting for my referral to come through. So i'm going to list a few of the products that have been tried and tested by myself which may assist other acne sufferers out there!

So in no particular order...

1. Medimix Ayurvedic Herbal Soap (£1.40 from Yogamatters)
This soap was recommended to me by a friend who also suffers from bad acne, Medimix is a value for money, completely herbal soap which is very popular out in India. Upon more research and reviews, it is very good for dealing with skin problems such as pimples, prickly heat, boils, body odour and other problems. It has been clinically proven, but it probably hasn't been put up against serious acne. However, I thought I would give it a go, as my skin probably doesn't appreciate being cleansed with chemicals all of the time. It is a green bar of soap which lathers up very well, with a nice herbal scent. Some people do not like the smell, but I rather enjoy it. I use it twice a day, morning and before I go to bed. Within a week I was starting to see a difference, my skin seemed much cleaner and clearer than what it ever did with any other cleanser I had used. Obviously I was using it in conjunction with a skin lotion/gel for my spots, but the overall look of my skin was just so much better.

I will say with Medimix is that if you have dry skin, I probably wouldn't recommend it so much as it is quite drying. After washing in the morning I always apply moisturizer once my skin has dried off. Also at night, I always remove as much make up as possible first and then use the soap to cleanse. Personally I always use a flannel with hot water too, just to ensure any stubborn traces are taken off. No need to rub vigorously with the flannel either. The steam from the hot water will help open your pores. Medimix isn't a miraculous cure, but I have definitely seen an improvement in my skin since using it.

2. OXY 5/10 Spot Treatment Gel (Various prices on Ebay)
You may remember the skincare brand OXY over here in the UK many years ago, but it has since been discontinued over here, which is a shame because their products really were effective. The same friend who recommended Medimix to me also told me about this OXY gel she uses. She uses the OXY 10 Maximum Strength gel. The magic ingredient in this is Benzoyl Peroxide, which for the most part, is a very effective treatment for acne. This gel comes in two strengths 5% BP and 10% BP. My friend uses the 10% max strength version and has had great results from it. 5% BP is the limit allowed in any product over here in the UK - any stronger and it has to be obtained online.

I was really excited to receive this and use it because my friend had such fantastic results from it, and from reading reviews, many people have had brilliant results. However, it turns out I can't use it as my skin is too sensitive to benzoyl peroxide - after two days of using the product, I woke up one morning to one half of my face effectively burnt, which was all down to the OXY gel. Turns out this product is er, very potent to say the least. My face was bright red, itchy, and started to slightly swell. I had to cease wearing any form of make up to avoid aggravating my skin even more. After a few days the itching stopped but I had very dry, flaky, rough skin where the product had reacted. My skin healed fine, and I done another 'test' of using it just on my chin where most of my current acne is, and again, after 2 days of usage, my chin has reacted in the same way. I do not know if it is because the 10% is too high of a BP percentage for my skin, so I may buy the 5% and see how I fare with that. The sad thing is that in the two days where my skin didn't react, the difference was mental. This stuff really does work. Big, cystic spots that were big and bulging were reduced to nearly nothing overnight.

As this product/brand is unavailable in the UK, it can only be bought on selected places online from other countries. Ebay is the best place I have found - but you will have to wait a week or two for delivery. It is relatively cheap, ranging from £4-£8 depending on what size tube you buy (I would recommend the smaller one until you know it works for you and then move up to the 25ml tube.) and normally free delivery.

I would advise not over applying this product, you only need a small amount on areas that have active acne. If you encounter ANY reaction with this product, I would stop using it. It is not worth damaging your skin over. As I found out, benzoyl peroxide is NOT for everyone. It may be your godsend, it may not be.

3. Alpha H Liquid Gold (£33.50 from Cult Beauty)
This is one of the more pricier products that I own, but it has been amazing for my acne scars. This night serum has glycolic acid in it, which overnight, helps boost cell activity and the skin renewal process, to get to the point of it basically. There's a lovely in depth description on the product page, but this stuff really is liquid gold. I saw a difference within a week or so of using it. At first it is best to apply it with a dampened cotton pad once a week for 2-3 weeks whilst your skin gets used to it (it is an acid after all) and then you can apply it neat up to 3 times a week.

It really does help reduce scarring and gives skin a nice, healthy glow. I find it harder to use now because my face is full of active acne and I prefer to use it when I have no active spots going on and when my face is smoother/flat. You have to be patient with it though and stick at it to see the best results.

4. Freederm Gel (£5.19 for 10ml £9.80 for 25ml from Boots)
This product helped me out back in my later teenage years. It's probably not the most effective product for stubborn, cystic acne like I have now, but it does help the healing process become that little bit faster. You can buy this from any supermarket/chemist and you simply apply it to the (cleansed) areas that need it. It is a bit drying, but that is the point of applying it to the spots, to help dry them out and kill the bacteria. I'm using this at the minute whilst I find an alternative to my crushed OXY dreams. It isn't super effective, but it does help my acne a little bit more. Freederm is perfect for people suffering from less serious acne, as it will definitely do the job. Freederm also have their own skincare range ranging from the gel to face washes, face wipes, etc.

So they are my trialled and tested products for helping with acne - here's hoping my derm appointment comes through soon! If you have any dream acne busting products, let me know!
xoxo

Then & Now

So it has been quite some time since my life was temporarily thrown into disarray. It's gone very quickly. I was reading over my blog posts during that time, it is safe to say now that I am in a much better place now. I've deleted them all because even though they documented my struggles and are very much proof that I am strong and defied all odds that were stacked against me, I just feel that it is over and done with now. I will never forget those times, I just don't need written reminders that I was in a bad place.

I've refreshed things a bit, to reflect the fresh start I've had myself! I'm excited to get things going again!

xoxo